LINZ SAID SO!!!

dear Lord, please my ma wish come true!!! aaaaaaaarrrrrggggggggg … just one wish!! hahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahaa … coz i cant sleep properly if you havent granted ma wish!!

is it me or is it you?
why every time i see you
all my worries fade away?
why every time you near me
i feel so peaceful?
why every time i gaze on you
i cant help myself anymore?
you are so adorable, vins
makes me wanna hold you forever
is it you, the only soulmate of mine?
reversing a few years back then
thats when we first met, in "chs"
half year later after that
i met you again, in "rebm"
ive never ever realized how you’re growin
bigger and bigger in me
sometimes i wonder …
is it me or is it you?
how i love being around you, still
whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ….
lurve your accent … lurveeeeeeee your smile
lurve everythin about you …
oh my god!!!
im smilin… im smiliin …
im happy .. hahahhahahahahahaaa
aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ….
i wanna eat you
i wanna chew you…
slurps!! yummy!!!

an incredible man full of passions who loves what he does, energetic, perfectionist, ambitious, strong mentality, gentleman, full of self-confident and arrogant.

thats what im talkin about … damn … you rock ma world, vins!! wink wink …

harsh .. harsh .. harsh ….

to be continue ….

is that how ppl describe me? as a funny and witty person? hahahaha.. i wonder .. coz I think a few days ago Erni said, "you’re funny!". at the same time, i always do this to other friends too. "if you say im funny, what made you think so or what made you think im funny??". what can i say? none of them can answer it. no one is able to. i wonder … im hardly to make jokes, almost never. if i do, i only make lame jokes.

most ppl said (again) that im an easy going person. me? no way!! they said, "it seems you never have any problems in your life". what????? i do have tonz of probs in ma life. im just a human bein like any other ppl in this universe. is it how i see life? but one person (i dun need to mention da name a.k.a anonymous) thinks im just a fcukin asshole who acts like a shiet n dunno how to solve ma own probs, im just one of those idiots ppl, weak, and i act like a biatch!! hohohoho .. honestly, thats so fcukin mean fo sho!! and i aint like that fcukin person told to everyone. nah .. i dun feel wanna do revenge or whatever. im so fcukin over it! come onnnnnnnnnnnn …  im too nice, toooooooo way tooooooooo nice til ppl often take advantages from me! but oh well .. it’s not a big deal though. i aint stupid, to be honest, maybe im kinda act stupid if u really wanna know, to see the thru of yourself, how you behave and whats your plan to take advantages from me. haaaaaaaaaa … im an observer! just one look and so on, i’ll know how you behave and your mind (more or less, needs more observation). whoaaaaaaaaa … im a shrink!! hahahaa…

to be continue….

YAY!!! yummy!! i ate chocos too much!!! aaaaawwwwwwwww … big brother!! hahaha.. i lurveeeeeee MICHAEL!! hahahaha… nice twist in the house coz of him!! everyone will hate him, definetely!! this week task: he have to make all housemates (8 ppl) nominate him by end of this week to make him safe again from eviction. hahahahhahahahahaaa…. last week big bro asked him to make the group task failed!! he did! hahahahaa… aaaaaarrrrrrggggggg i luv his accent!

the most incredible person in my life, the person who made me alive until today and taught me so many things. the only person who was crawling from the buttom part til on the top, like now and until now. the only person who i always admire for the hard work, responsibility and everything. oh well… i dont know this is my bad or good news. he is gonna have a surgery soon and so fcukin shiet i was so scare when i heard da news. i couldnt imagine it. last nite, after i heard da news, i was just alright. but today, when i rang them, from the voice, i heard they were so shitty serious about this. then my brain is keep on thinkin thinkin thinkin thinkin thinkin hard until now im typin this bloggie. the problem is, i cant return home. damnnnnnnnn …

i was almost lost one … i dont wanna "ALMOST lost" again for the 2nd time. thats my problem. the only thing that is still running around in ma brain. but im alright. haaaaaaaaaaaa … im just  full of worriness in myself.

dunno why, lately i just wanna drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, as fast as i can … drive forever with the highest speed ever. strange feeling coz i know myself, im not really into driving a car although im into cars. im jus so fcuken lazy! thats all … i think i just wanna let go things in myself. the craziest thing ive ever done today while i was driving. lucky no cops, hey? hahhahaa… besides, ppl love to horn me!! hahahahahahahaa… i enjoy driving by myself without passengers at all. what else? i went to groceries, after that i cleaned my car a lil bit. sux!! i found a SCRATCH line mark on ma fcukin car around da driver door. sux sux sux sux!! i realized it last week then today was so shiny mannnnnn til i could really see it properly under the sun. aaaaaaarrrrrgggggggggg … not meeeeeee .. who did this to ma car? damned!!! maybe the car next to me? since the car always parks close to mine. so, perhaps when the owner opens da car’s door or whatever, it SCRATCH my car! hohohohoho…. suxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx … suxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx .. suxxxxxxxxxxxxx!! my car mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ….. my car looks still very new although been using it for a year or so! my black hawk nite colour!! sux!!! i hate the scratch everytime i see it, but i try to neglect it though. suxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx … damned!!

just like that yooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! not much happened though. it’s time to pay BILLS again.. every month, money, money, money, money, money only for BILLS!! SUX MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN !!! i just wanna blow up the hi fi! hahaha…

what can i say? winkie day … i woke up about 6am and was totally amazed by a nice breakie!! hahahaha.. then im just spendin ma time in front of TV, what a nice day for me to relax! last nite i forced my eyes so stay awake only for law n order episodes marathon (criminal intent n svu). yeah, i really wanna see trials of jury episodes too, but i think aussie tv stations dont air/broadcast em. oh yeah, at the moment law n order marathon again. maybe public boston? hahhaaha…

i was in ma car then i returned back home, was watching beauty salon movie? forgot.. then all of sudden, foggy then banggggggg … ice rain attacked my balcony sliding door! i was going to take photos of those ices but too late .. they already melted down by water (rain) and bleh … never mind …

if its not raining, i might go out 2moro … we’ll see… bo hooooooo meeee .. im a busy person!! hahahahhaa.. joke!! nah .. i must go somewhere to do somethin *wink wink*… what somethin? dont wanna tell ya! fcukin hell!! i was about to watch polar express movie .. oh yeah, i missed the sessions twice mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn … ok, 2moro!!

i was wondering why recently im so happy!! love is in the air .. love is in the air .. u think so? no no no no no … just tryin to be happy coz i think life is more colourful when you smile and happy! i took a snap of ma happy smile and i put on ma FS! crazy idiot!! hahahahhahaa….  dont you know im always happy if i enjoy my winter happily ever after? i just remember how i love winter clothing!! hahahahaa…  isnt this the season that ive been waiting for every year? and i love you so? hahhaa… im waitin for December! hehehee… friends worldwide will send me tonz of xmas cards and gifts! oh yeah, everyone loves me!! remember reeza in norway? lorena in spain? ross in UK? pia in sweden? who else? i forgot!! those mates in germany (u know who u are) and italy. hahahaha… every year, every month, they will always send me nice things esp. ross! lolz… who sent me tonz of snoopy for my collection? pia! hahaha… i miss em tonz mannnnnnnnnnn … who always sends me bulky photos (more than 30s pix) ? u know who u are, ma mate in holland!! yay!

2 months to go til ma next bday!! oh yeah.. world cup!! i wanna spend ma world cup days in indo. its more fun!! hahahaha.. with everyone a.k.a hooligans esp (hahahhahaa) surrounds me, being crazy in front of TV! whatever …. yay!! england all the way!! spain, too!! definetely!!! i would cry for these 2 teams!! ehehhee… i aint interested in aussie team!! lolz… booooooo hoooooooo … kill me!! huauauhauhuhaa…

ok, done!! write again later … im gonna watch ma series again. hopefully 2moro sunny, no rain, so i can go out to do ma thang!! wink… love yaaaaaaaaaaa boooo hooooooooooooooo!!! wink wink wink

after struggled myself trying to stay awake every nite after 10pm, geez … i gave up!!! i must sleep! here we go again … strange normal sleeping pattern. sometimes i wonder if it would be better i force myself to be a "vampire" or back to normal human being. my current life is "normal human being life" (well, its already 2 weeks). i cant stand it! hahahaha… vampire life is much more better, i can stay all nite long, as long as i want, dont care i need to sleep or not. well, still … if i go back to my vampire life, you see both of my eyes are getting red and more red coz i dont sleep at all or i only sleep a few hours. with this normal living pattern, i cant even watch my fav tv series no more up to 10pm, coz im so sleepy. what can i do? i just record all those shows then next day i’ll watch them. hahahhaa…

I got SMALLVILLE dvds, season 1 til 4. hahhahaa… i havent watched it. i bet, next month im gonna spend my days watching dvds. oh yeah .. i got like 10 different series to watch to. so, you can imagine!! i love tv series! huauhauhauhauhauha…. i havent caught up much with SCRUBS although on ma cable TV im able to watch it. not sure which season that is. might be 4th? anyways …

i finished with my book keeper main project! sux ass!! after i recorrected all the total amount for sales, stocks, and blah blah blah .. fcukin hell!! yknow i woke up in early morning like 5am to finish this stupid things, and after all, i wrapped em up in 11am or 12pm although before that i made so many mistakes coz i was too sleepy doing it, until by mistake, i put in the wrong page, i forgot to add a few things in a sheet, and blah blah blah … hardly to explain. forgot! sux … however, still another struggle .. sigh … another book to do, but oh well … i have calculated all of em, just a few things to recheck. i have checked a few pages, but yeah… bloody hell!!!

again .. im tryin to save up my savings! as i always say, i must too. insanely, im able to control and manage it well.

oh yeah, last nite i got abs email after for so long! hahahhaa.. i think she wrote me a long msg on ma friendster, but i forgot to write her back coz i was too busy doin that special project. so then yeah, she wrote me long emails! nice to hear from her again! as i said, everyone is busy and thats something you can expect much, coz everyone has their own life, me too. but as long as we keep in touch all the time, so i think it should be ok.

i think any occassions either from what ive seen, what ive listened, what ive learnt from other ppl’s life, my own life, or strangers’ life, etc, as all of em occassionally (all the time) "taught" me something new. thats what i called life! thats how i see myself growing up each and every day, from the way i think and try to be more wiser. hahhahahahahaa… cmon .. admit it, im wise enuff to give you any advices for your life, love and blah blah blah … however, i aint a perfect person, let’s say im wise enuff for you and vice versa, but still i often make mistake (if not, i wont learn more) and there a lof of controversy from outsiders who think that they are right and living in nasty form of life and skeptical.

MY CRAP ENGLISH

let’s say English isnt my main languange, but i wonder why ive never forgetten any words or anythin about English. I wonder … I learnt 2-3 languages before, well seriously, but now i cant even remember all of em, hardly. its not about im livin in down under or whatever. let’s see.. i learnt english from kindie (kindergarten), however i was hardly to speak english or even write in english. none of my school subjects were in english except english subject. hell yeah … where did i learn english, honestly? elementary school, let’s see .. i did learn english till year 6, but it was just the same like before. junior high, year 7 to 9, i learnt english too even i had many penpals abroad. high school? i was so hardly to learn english at school although it was one of my fav subjects but hell yeah.. not interested although i have more heaps of penpals worlwide. i aint had any english lessons or whatever. but hell yeah, i learnt by myself like a shiet outside school. hahhahaa… i think, i was hiding all these times, til i went to uni, one of my teachers noticed my talent. crap talent!! hahahhahahahahahahahahaa…. i aint good in talking/convo but im better in writing. there you go … one occassion, we had to act or pretend we wrote letters to our friend in english or whatsoever. wahey!! thats my thang!! i did write one, oh yeah, til the teacher asked me to come up, and said, "wow! the way you write letter is like a foreign!!! where did you learn this?". yeah, i just smiled, didnt say anythin. hauhuhauhaa.. oh yeah, perfect score! yknow at high school, ive never paid attention to english anymore, unless when i needed to do TOEFL preparation (but still i was so fuckin lazy), when i needed to talk with a British man. huauhauhauhauhuhaa… luckily, i understood all the things he said. yknow, i aint grow up with British/Aussie things, only American. the worse thing was most teachers carried their British accent and crap!! hahahahahahhaaa…. honestly, i was just afraid to talk in english. when i moved here, i never spoke to my teachers, so all ma teachers knew i was a quiet person, so they didnt know my english ability. hahhahahahahahaha… maybe that time i needed to boost myself to talk more, but it was just inside school. just one time exam turned my teachers life around!! booooo hoooooooooooo …. yknow one of the teachers was so fcukin "disgrace" and "disrepect" me for being "not so good in english". well, i aint a type of person who wanna show off, but once you made me to, then i would make it happen. of course, she wanted me to do an debate/argument and made fcukin convo with the other aussie. there you go .. i won the debate and trust me, you wouldnt believe it what i did!! hahahahahhaa…. after wrapped up things, she said, "i cant believe you can speak english like that" and rumours been around for a while about me for being a quiet person into an unbelievable. when she said that, i just gave me a cheeky smile then i walked away. huauhauhauhuhaa.. fuckin hell!!! i dun give a damn. i just needed my final result. after i got my result, she asked me to come to her office and spoke blah blah blah to me, and that time i was thinkin, WHATEVER!!! she tried to nice to me!! again… my english is still crap!! im hardly to speak english now!! im not into it a the mo. TRUST ME!! IM NOT INTO IT!!! see.. my creepy grammar, creepie vocabs, creepie tonz of things!! hahahaha…. NO IDEA, WHENEVER I GO TO SCHOOL/UNI, THERE WILL BE SOMEONE WHO JEALOUS/ENVY OF ME. NO IDEA WHY and WHAT THEY AFTER about me!!! not only that, FRIENDS, too!!! cmon … whats in my life that make you jealous/envy? im just an ordinary person. i aint got treasures!!!

back to big bro show!! hahahhaa.. oh my god!! jamie went to the diary room!! what a heart breaker!!! he is a cancerian as same as me!! ahhahahaa… yeah, yeah, yeah .. isnt it nice to be a heartbeaker? there you go, jamie!! hahahahahahhaa…

what else? each day im feeling so peacefully with my own life, my personal life and my private life. i dont know why, it seems worse things have totally gone out of my life. isnt it a good sign? im able to concentrate to ma old skool hobby!! can u imagine how happy i am? i think words cant describe it. yknow .. sometimes you cant turn your life into exactly you want. for better or worse, at least you try to improve more every aspect of your life and your life’s expectation.

welcome back to ma normal life! hahahahahhahahaa… finally, after being nuts for a while, i could switch back my normal sleeping time pattern. hell yeah … but unfortunetely, it seems make me more crazy with this normal sleeping pattern. WHY? first, i cant stay all nite long no more which is mean, i will feel sleepy around 9pm and i need to sleep, or i’ll get insane! hahaha.. i cant open ma eyes no more if i force myself to stay awake till 10pm. second, i always wake up too early e.g 5am or at least 6 or 7am, means SUX!!!! hahahhahahahahahaa….  no more owls, mate .. *sobbing* no more nite life!

ok, recently im so fuckin busy!! yeah yeah yeah .. i forgot what i did in these a few weeks. all i know the weather is so cold in the morning, well sometimes at nite. sometimes i feel like both of my hands are freezing. blub … blub … blub … i ate chocos a lot mannnnnnnnn …. yummy! my hair style is weird now, i need to trim a lil bit or go to hairdresser shop soon. besides, im addicted to TV! ahahhahahaaaaa… i cant help it! nuts!! i watch almost all movies either old and latests, all american tv shows, series, talk shows, whatever mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn …. yknow, im hardly to watch TV, but oh well .. since i have tonz of free time, why not? yeah yeah yeah, i used to addict to TV ages ago, but then coz i was too busy study too hard *bluff* so then i almost never watched TV. hahahuuhauhauhauhauhauhauhuhaa….

im hardly in front of the computer now and all i have is my computer turns on all the time. what do i do if im not in front of the computer? hauhauhahuhaa…. honestly, im keeping myself busy with my old skool hobby, keeping friends, keeping this, and blah blah blah … mmm .. despite of it, im returning my other old skool hobby, slowly! YAY! uuummmm … oh yeah, i dont hang around my phone anymore, replying all mates sms. yeah, trust me, im lazy do type and blah blah blah … one of the reason why is i need so press down the phone bills and everything. oh yeah, last a few days, i got all ma bills, and yes all the bills were decreased. im glad about it.

talking about my insane project, yeah im doing it. these days i was so fucking headache to think how im gonna hell to count all these things since i aint good about maths. its like a book keeper. fcuk mannnnnnnnnnn … im counting all these stocks and stupid ass hell costs and so on. oh my god!! trust me!! i aint like math thats why i dont study about business or engineering or everything that connected with maths/chemistry. after fcuking wasting all my times for hours n fours in these back a few days even today, i found the way how to finish this idiot things. trust me, too much calculation and hell yeah, im using fcukin calculator which making me more pissed off! hahahaa… i’ll go really nuts if i really work in the tax office or whatever esp. when you need a big book, big list of stocks, prices, etc. hohohoho….

as the time DOES fly and im busy with that idiot thang, i realized that i have already forgetten about everything in my life, i mean bad/worse ones. im hardly to remember it. wahey, it’s already MAY! as for -K-, after all i realized i think he will be in a better place there. god took him away supposed to be something behind about it and everything that happens in our lives happen because of a reason which sometimes, we, human being, dont know what it is. we cant blame anyone. i realized, i aint no longer sobbing or whatever you named it. hahahhaahhaa… im quite happy though with my life and everything. no feeling something missing in my life and or other lame excuses, which is good.

i think everyone is busy with their life yeah? i think so and me too. but this year, i feel time really goes fly faster than last year. last year was so slow mannnnnn …. what can i say? i forgot! hahahhahahaa… wink wink wink wink wink …. i cant wait for 20th may! hauhaauhaa.. or else at the end of may! i’ll tell ya later …

on the other hand, i havent fixed my 2 other blogs.. no time!! hahahhahaaa… i’ll write again later!