LINZ SAID SO!!!

i wanna write so many things but again sometimes i dont know what im gonna write. everything seems make me so speechless… lol … sigh … maybe im too happy!!! wink

20.10.2006 - 4AM

bah.. its been a while again … i have been SILENCE .. lol .. well, im doing alright and healthy … hehehhee.. my folks arrived here last tuesday and i was so dam fcukin happy! currently im enjoyin my moms cooking. hell yeah …  i eat a lot every day like 6 times in a day. can you imagine it? hahhahahahahahaa.. only god heaven knows whats wrong with my appetite!!! lol .. ah moms cooking is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooddd!!!!!

i did cook for my folks as well last wednesday, as for supper!! hahahhaa.. then the other nite we had a very long convo til 5am. yes, in the morning …

oh .. we went for shopping too the other day … i got one army cargo pants, the one that i always wanted. lol .. i only got grey army cargo… lol .. i think, i just wanna beat matthew’s .. lol … i got 2 pairs of ballet shoes…hehehhhehee.. i so love it! after its been weeks and weeks ive been lookin for it coz no size, finally i ended up to one store and found it and one pairs only left one. lol .. bah .. sold out!! or my size is too small? wakkakakakaa…. oh well maybe my feet .. wink ….

matthew is coming on sunday, yeah meeting parents thingy!! lol .. bah .. i so love his hair. i always say that i wanna have a carpet that made from his hair. so soft… hes gonna shave his head again, but i said no no no no no … but next month, i’ll go with him [when i visit him] to vins mom and get his hair job done!! wakakkaaa… he is such a lazy ass!!

mom bought me a black shirt of FCUK .. with the big word printed on the front of the shirt and very very very biggie, it says FCUK!!! lol … i havent wore it yet…

not much happened so far .. i finished the tuesday event and im sooo overed it. and yes, thats life … im good .. im glad .. i feel so light and im happy with everything!!!

thats all for this morning.. im starving!!!

15.10.06

"as much as you make me upset sometimes you make me overly happy", he says. sometimes when you really love someone you need to compromise on certain things. thats what i learnt so far. i always own my crazy principles about everything and yes, no one can change it unless the sky falls down to the ground. and yes, you need to TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY OR MAD ABOUT SOMETHING TO YOUR PARTNER!!

sometimes other people even your own real friends dont know about you and the real story behind you or your partner, they can be a biatch as well with their fcukin suggestions. coz some of em just give advices but the fact is they have never been  in that position. after all, every lil decision is your choice. dont always listen to your friends, they can be a biatch about your relationship but listen to your heart, your mind. but yes, you deserve to get a 2nd or 3rd or maybe more opinions. however, when youre in your critical emotions, you’ll listen to other people even you follow what they say even their worse advices then at the end you will just regret it. by then, you cant reverse anything back. honestly, im sure you get what i mean since im not tat good explaning things.

its pretty cold today around 10 degrees and i went out for a walk with matthew. yes, just chit chat for a bit. it was nice although at the beginning we were so awkward and felt like strangers due to "misunderstanding" we had before. we didnt talk when we walked together but there was a distance. but after a while, everything was cool coz we talked about it and cleared things up. yes, today i just wanted to clear things up or else it would be hanging on ma brain all the time while on tuesday i had a huge event ahead. to be honest, im sort of stressing about that happen, im so nervous + anxiety and it drives me mental!! my folks often says, dont worry youre gonna be alright, take it easy and blah blah blah. then matthew supports me as well plus said the same thing.

thats why today i asked him out. i just wanted to feel chill and relax plus i dont wanna think about it for a while even tomorrow. these days i didnt sleep n eat properly. i was so stressed. yes, im still stressing but now its a lil less and much more better and i think im sort of SANE by now. i know im gonna be OK but sometimes i dont have any self confident. i know i can do it but i just need to boost it up. lol .. sigh … wish me luck!! keep your fingers crossed for me please!!

what else? yeah, tomorrow im gonna do "walk" thing again and maybe catch a dvd tokyo drift. hehehehhehee… wink … oh yea, a couple hours ago i was talkin with matthew on the fone. it was cool and i felt better coz i had someone to talk to.

i must stop here now. i’ll write again sometime later.

12.10.06
anjing!! panas abessssssssssssssssssssssssssss … pas gue kuar rumah maseh 33.8 drajat, pas gue pulank gue cek lage langsung 36 drajat. prasaan pas gue di luar dah 36 dah. gilakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk .. soak dah gue.. dehidrasi abessssssss .. untung pas gue pegi, gue bawa botol aqua geto. kl kaga, matek gueeeeeeeeee .. bibir ajeh isa kering coi! males bgt dah mannnnnnn .. td gue cuman jalan2 sendiri en blanjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee barang murahan!! wakakkakakaa… cuman 5 dollar man. tdnye gue mo beli handband ama spatu, tp mahal jg.. wakkakaa.. adoh man pengennnnnnnnnn .. tp ya sutra lah.. gue kaga beli .. cuekkkkkkkkkkkk …. pulang2 gue dah stuffy abesssssss, masak pasta getoh. trus ape yeeeeeee … rebahan bentar, adoh keknya gue kecapean abesssssss …  trus keknye stress juga ama preparation buat slasa next week. aiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhh … nervous mannnnnnnnn … udah brasa kek presentation ajeh. makkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk … biasanya seh gue gugup seh gugup, tp cuek ajeh. tp ini beda bokkkkkkkkkkkkk…. we’ll see how it goes lah… hope god will help me thru this case!! hahahahahhahaa.. cui .. tengil abes man… kbykkan gaya cui! halahhhhhh .. ngapain juga gue semingguan ini? masak bokkkkkkkkkkkkkkk .. mank mood gue lage masak molo. sigh … trus apa yeeeeeeeeeeee .. gak inget! kekekkee…

gue kangennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ama si kucing gelo!! bah!! die dah janji mo masakin gue steak sapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii on sunday. gue mo nagih .. reward gue tuh mannnnn .. lalalalalalala … norak lo ah … ya udah geto ajeh .. cuman maen sms doank ama si kucing. gue kalo inget rambut nye itu … sumpeh mirip ama bulu kucing, enak di elus2. tapi kucingnye lucu juga seh … i mean, kucing beneran. bukan owner nye. yg td gue omongin itu owner nye. heh … emangnye kucing beneran isa sms an? ngomong en mencet2 hp? wakkakaka…

eh gue jarank yeh nulis blog pake indo? wakakkakaa.. emank gue lage gaya! lage males ajeh otak gue pake english2an… jelassssssssssssss cara gw ngomong indo emank kampong abessssssssssssssssss … terlalu betawi en nyablak? lol .. ini baru tulisannya ajeh .. belon kumat gilanye, kl lage kumat dah kek org kesamber jin betawi cui….

ya wes lah sodara sodari .. aye mo cabs dolo … mo mandi lage mannnnn … buset.. ini udah 28an drajat yeh? ato 25, tp tetep ajeh keknya gue mo nyebur ke kali deh…. eh kolam denk.. kolam ikannnnnnnnnn … cabs dolo ..

PS: gue lage seneng … kata org seh kek org fall in love … mungkin juga yeh? tp gelo ajeh kl fall in love 2x dlm 3 bulan… hhahahaaa.. kampret .. hus … nama binatang belon kuar semua keknya.. wakakkakakakaka…

06.10.06
hahhahaaa.. sunny dam! so nice but i hate those flies!! im gonna have FLIES WAR soon!!! bah .. i wanna kill em!! ah time does fly, aye? last nite i was thinkin, "dammmmmmmmm mannnnnn its already october! and 2 months to go for xmas!! oh my god!! what did i do last year?". hahahhaa… im gettin older too!! god damnit!! hehehhehee… ah i dunno why, today i feel so happy! i know i do miss my silly stupid cat there!!! i wonder what hes been doing!! lol .. STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP … that will be a new gossip for this weekend, at least!! mwahhahahaa.. oh i cooked salmon today!! so yummi!! yesterday i cooked chicken parma!! oh well … i so wanted to go out today, but bah im lazy!! yesterday i went to melb central lookin for shoes, oh yeah.. thats ballet shoes! hahaha.. no size!!!! sniff .. sniff … actually, i found one pair but i wasnt sure that i should buy it or not. well, money factor!! im able to buy less than 20 bucks or not more than 20 bucks ONLY!!! the rest of ma money only enuff for my food for the rest of the week, unless you wanna pay for my food!!! hahahaa oh yeah im good in cooking despite for the fact sometimes im so fcukin lazy but hey im on ma good mood for cooking!! kekkekee … i think we’re so gonna have early summer this year?

a year ago i thought i would die .. but a year later, im still alive and happy for the entire year!! praise the LORD!! thanks for GOD for making ma life so complicated and giving me so much fun of life after that. mwahahahhaa.. cuit .. cuit .. cuit .. tralalalalalalala … aih .. my salmon cookin is so good!! better than da 1st time i cooked it. hahhaa.. coz i found da secret already lah lah lah lah lah … i love ma silly cat and i love everybody!! kekkekekee .. oh .. in the next 2 weeks, my parents are gonna come to visit me AGAIN for the 3rd time in this year 2006!

oh yeah, this time my blog story is kinda goin here and there, no direction at all. but yknow me … i always blurt out everything in ma head and i dont do the formal steps to write a blog like when you do your essays! bah … im an uneducated person and i dun give a dam!! wakakkakaa.. i hate doing those kind of things. its enuff!!!

guess what!? im eating an apple with RUJAK sauce from INDO!! hahahaha.. last time my mum brought me tonz and heaps [doh .. NOT FROM THOSE STUPID CANS!!]!! hahahhaaa.. its been ages! so so so hot spicy!! but i think im livin here too long and now im scare of spicy food!! hahaha.. i used to able to eat extra and extreme spicy and hot but now i dont think i can handle it!! hahahahhaa.. too much ketchup!! lol .. oh yeah, matthew hates it when i say KETCHUP. he says, ITS TOMATOES SAUCE NOT KETCHUP!!! mwahahhahahaa…

closing for today!! bah .. lol .. be rite back!! hohohoho ….

i miss ma silly kitty kat!! so not good!! me miss ma silly cat so much!! mwahahahhahahahahahahahahhaa.. god dammmmmmmmmmm ….

wed, 04.10.06

last monday, we [me & matthew] went to watch NACHO LIBRE movie with ma free tix that i won from the movie competition! hahahhaaa… slurps!! so so so so so dam hilarious!! before that, we had lunch at melb central and bought da tix. then we were walkin around da city, just to browse. hahaha.. dammmmmmm mannnnnn .. so many emo HS kids!!! ok, i was so tempted to buy clothes! sigh … but i dont think i have enuff money too. i was aiming to that ballet shape shoes. oh well. the one with skulls pattern, but only left 2 pairs so i dont think they’ll have my size. then i went to another branch store. lol .. nothings there!! dammmmmmmmmmmmmmm … i bet all emo kids bought em already. blame me for pondering too much whether i wanted to buy or not. then i was so tempted wit that emo 3/4 black pants plus skulls handbag. hahahhaa.. dam… i got one already, i bought it like a few months ago. now theres another new model. i just wanna match with ma other shoes, the one with skulls shoelace. mwahahhahahahaa…

then once we were in melb central. matthew took me to the dress store. lol .. he pointed to that evening dress!! mwahahhahahahaha.. god dam wink wink … he says that looks nice. oh yeah, he was kinda hinting me? lol .. that kind of gown is sooooooo noooooottttttt ma type. too silky! i dont like silk material in clothing. let’s say i hate it!! mwahahhahahaa… im so picky! bah… i like other material except silk or the other one, i forgot how to call it! anywayssssssssssssssssssssssss….

i went to the doc as well. yeah, she says nothing on me!!! im healthy and nothings wrong inside my stomach or whatever.

at nite [that day] we had japanese food that day!! yummy! damn .. im so full!! oh yeah, i gained ma weight a lil since someone was taking good care of me, always cooked for me in da passed few days. thats all good!! since im getting better and healthy so yeah, he returned home today! thats all … he helped me to clean my house, vacum, cleaning, etc etc etc. yep, my house looks so dam clean! he left me food as well that only worth for a day! hahahahahhaa… yummie!!

last nite he cooked yummie pastaaaaaaaaaa … slurps!! much more better than in the restaurant. bah .. i dont know that he is good in cooking!! hahaha.. i bet you should hit ma head!! slurps!! he is so cuteeeeeeee … dam!!!

we were talkin til morning like 4am in da passed 2 days, heart to heart a.k.a random topics! it was cool! we’re good friends too. i always feel comfie to talk everything to him. oh well, last weekend til sunday he was so so so cranky. he went to jacobs bday party, when he dropped back to ma place after da party, he was still cranky. i asked him then he bursted it out, he felt better then i didnt know what to say. it was just complicated topic to talk about. long story … the other nite i was so dam grumpy as well.

looks who counting for this friday 6th? not me!! him!! hahahhaa… i dont remember it either! oh well.. isnt it good? ah .. thats all … meanwhile, i got so many bills to pay!! lol .. sux!!! im so poor that the mo!! hahhahahahaa … not happy!! but life goes on!! im gonna hang in there for another 2 weeks after that yeah yeah yeah ..

gotta go. xoxo

PS: im gonna recolour my hair again [by myself of course, as usual]!! hahaha yay!!!