hari geneeeeeee? mase byk org bermulut sampahhhhhhh? yg cuman ngurusin urusan orang laen en bukan ngaca dulu sebelom bermulut sampah ke org!!! ngaca dulu!! ngacaaaaaaaaaa … ngapain juga sibuk ngurusin urusan org laennnnn … bah!!!
i dont know where to start, as usual … i just came back home and a moment ago i checked one of ma good friends space thingy. oh … my … gosh … how can a few years changed someone sort of a lot and pretty much the same? well, if ya know what i meant. i was like oh noooooooo!! hahahahahaa….. it was fun fun fun … some photos look so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! hey yknow what? i think he just broke up with his girlfriend, LOL … the space explains a lot plus his freaking YM status have been so weird although he wrote it in chinese. damnit, i know i can read some. as usual, i dont wanna ask either.
i got a package from jamie in germany!! ahahhahaa… do i need to write it down what he enclosed the envelope? hahahahahahaa… speechless!! but thanks anyway
so sleepy today!! yummie … thats all!! hahahahahahaha… no sure what im gonna write, nothing sweet happens. the spoil thing was i got a letter from sweden!! LOL! im sleepy … i need sleeeeeeppppppppp … sleep … sleeeeeeppppppppppppppp!!! sleeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!
maybe tomorrow is barnie’s time!!!!
Jakarta-Melbourne-Jakarta 26 November 2007 (monday)
another kontroversi … selama 7 thn ini gw belajar tentang karakter banyak org (termasuk diri gw sendiri). tapi ini lah realitas yang kadang masih gw pertanyakan. entah dah berapa ratus orang yg gw kenal tapi kenapa dr sekian pertanyaan2 yang gak sengaja gw lontarkan just as the normal convo ato gw cerita begini begitu buat ngeliat respon psikolog org (meskipun gak sengaja en itu gw ambil dr crita2 yg gw alemin sendiri). terkadang yang ada gw bingung sendiri … ini bukan test IQ/psikolog dr gw tapi ini cuman convo biasa. kenapa gw dr sana isa menilai semua karakter orang, kenapa gw isa baca karakter orang meskipun gw gak gitu kenal ama orang2nya, i meant, most seh random people (kl udah temen sendiri mah udah basi, udah tau dr jadul!). terkadang gw mikir ternyata realitas tuh kbykkan orang yg bener2 true en yg isa elo jadiin temen sejati itu cuman beberapa dr sekian byk dimana prinsip jadul ama skrg dah beda. kl dulu paling gampang en murni, kl jaman skrg org2 mo bertemen pun milih, either kl gak krn tampang elo, ya status sosial elo (elo kaya pa kaga). jaman skrg, kalo pun ada cuman secuil, cuman beberapa dan kalo mo gw bilang cuman satu. untuk sekarang ya bukan jadul. ini cuman salah satu pembuktian dr gw slama 5 thn ini secara gak sengaja mulai belajar karakter org en ngebaca tiap detail krn gw penasaran. well, 5 thn totally en di tambah 2 thn awal buat belajarin segi2 karakteristik.
kemaren2 tanpa sengaja gw ngobs ama so called friend. i meant, kenal gak lama but gw pikir ini orang keknya ada prospek buat di jadiin temen and blah blah blah … en secara replek gw cuman melontarkan beberapa pertanyaan normal alias yang asal lewat di otak gw ajeh tapi ada satu jawaban yang bikin gue kaget juga. kenapa? krn seharusnya jawaban model gini cuman buat orang2 yg maseh umur ABG (well lets say around 16) mpe 23-24 thn deh. dan ternyata gw kaga nyangka ajah kl orang yg udah 27-28 ngejawab kek begetooooooooo? hahaha … gw kg nyangka ajeh kenapa otak ini orang bener2 childish. bukannya cuman 1 org yg kek gene, tapi ada satu lagi orang yg kek gene juga. bener2 gak masuk akal ato gw yg mulai gila? hahahahahaa… gak lah.
sebenernya terkadang sebelom gw nanya ato apa pun karakter orang tersebut dah isa gw baca tanpa perlu gw lanjutin dgn convo2 normal. ini entah gw yang isa beneran ngebaca ato apeh gw jg gak ngerti.
dari semua convo yg ada dlm riset 5 thn (abisnye gw gak tao mo sebut apah) yg tanpa di sengaja. terkadang gw bener2 gak isa toleransi ama sifat org yg tertentu en nurut gw dah kelewat batas. for sure lah, gw jg gak perfect but somehow gw kadang dah tried so hard tuk event2 tertentu tapi sumpah … lama2 ngeselin. gw dengerin jawaban org2 ajeh dah keki apalagi kl suruh gw beneran temenan. thats sooooooo bukan tipe orang yg bakalan gw jadiin temen. mannnn … hare geneeee … take a look around your side lah, mase byk orang2 yg gak kek elo, idup cuman pas2an, work hard to survive and blah blah blah … berpikiran lah gimana kalo suatu saat elo ada di posisi mereka. ini lah contoh2 orang yang terlalu ngeremehin idup en orang laen. gw gak yakin org2 gini bakalan berubah, i meant bukan brubah 100%, tapi lebih faham ttg sekitar en gimana harus respect ama orang2 yg berbeda dr kita. status sosial ato tampang ato apa pun lah bukanlah alasan buat elo tuk temenan ama org. krn elo mesti liat dr segi yang laen, yang layak. gw ngomong begini krn selama gw idup gw dah pernah ngejalanin dr mulai nol mpe skrg, gw dah ngerasain apa yang orang2 blg itu UNLUCKY. somehow i dont understand napa org2 yg lebi beruntung gak pernah terima kasih ama idup yang udah mereka punya. kenapa masih byk org yang meremehkan orang laen? meskipun elo kuarin dgn becanda, but i dont think itu appropriate way buat ngeluarin rasa respek elo ke keadaan orang laen. krn nurut gw gak lucu en honestly, it is not a joke but it’s a reality.
well, mungkin ini yang bakalan jd thn terakher buat gw baca karakter orang (unfortunetely, gw sendiri yang punya talent ngebaca diri orang lebi dalem). en gw nulis gini juga bukan tuk ngebahas semuanya. pembelajaran gw dah kelar dan semua segi yang gak gw sebutin ari ini, gw gak bakalan tulisin disini, cukup gw yang tau. ada beberapa stages yang gak gw jelasin, tulisan ini juga bukan inti dari masalah yang mo gw angkat. ini cuman yang lewat di otak gw.
tapi amat di sayangkan ada beberapa orang (well sebenernya byk, tapi beberapa org ini lah membelajaran terakher gw yang amat gw sayangkan mereka seperti itu krn lebi parah dari orang2 yg laen) en salah satunya itu adalah orang yg kadang gw mikir, we can be a very good friends one day. tapi after we had a long convo en ngeliat ini orang gimana responnya kl gw crita ttg hal tertentu ttg idup gw … you’d be surprised, apalagi gueeeee … terkadang dr setiap convo ato crita yang gw critain itu bener adanya (bukan mengada2 ato gw ngarang2 crita) en terkadang gw crita itu bertujuan supaya elo isa ngeliat sisi dunia lain (tanpa sengaja gw ceritain). sisi lain yang mungkin elo gak pernah ngalamin tp orang2 laen entah sapa disana dah pernah ngerasain en seharusnya elo prepare diri elo sendiri kalo suatu ari nanti elo seperti mereka. krn satu yang gw percaya, roda kehidupan orang itu selalu berputar (krn gw udah pernah ngalemin), kadang elo di atas en kadang elo di bawah. kl elo gak prepare dr skrg, elo bakalan … tau deh … tapi terkadang gw jg gak isa maksain kehendak gw supaya orang ngeliat sisi yang lain but somehow gue cuman memperingatkan, but yknow lah manusia … terkadang isa lupa diri.
well, makasih byk buat orang2 yang udah gw pake crita idupnya buat orang laen, bikin gw terinspirasi en di teruskan ke orang laen. thanks to god juga yang udah ngase gw lessons begini dr gw kecil mpe skrg krn dgn gitu gw lebi ngerti ttg real life and reality duluan drpd anak2 seumuran gw dulu en gw dr dulu gak pernah protes waktu semuanya terjadi di gw. thanks udah ngajarin gw dr kecil gimana ngehargain hidup en orang laen, dimana gw mesti ngehormatin perbedaan (kecuali orang2nye dah kek taek). makasih juga slama ini gw isa berbaur dgn orang2 tanpa memandang perbedaan status atawa kesenjangan sosial, fisik, dll (kecuali org2 yg gak tao diri). thanks buat parents gw yg most of it dah ngase gw a great lesson, "dont forget where you come from. manusia mulai dr tanah en kembali bakalan jd tanah. from that, elo mestinya dah tau en whatever you do semua gak bakalan worthed one day kl elo brubah jadi sombong krn elo bakalan jadi tanah lagi en none of you isa ngebawa itu semua" (thanks to KC yang udah ngase gw banyak lessons dr gw kecil mpe skrg, yang gw tulis tadi termasuk quote juga sebagian terinspirasi dari KC. quote ini gw gabungin dr kata2 bonyok gw n KC). terakher, gw gak sempurna, i might just a few like you too. however as long as elo tau batasnya, thats how you know how to live your life better than other. just dont listen to other people say when they know nothing a shiet about you. because yknow what? you know yourself better than others. so from now, please appreciate your life more when you know you cant turn back the time at all.
HAHHAHAHAHAA… ME HAPPY!!!!
DOGER!!!! DOGER!!! DOGER!!!
SIOMAY … SIOMAY … SIOMAY …
AHAHHAHAHAHAA… YUMMIE FOOD!!!
KFC … KFC … KFC …
SENANGNYAAAAAAAA …
AAAAAARRRGGGG KEKENYANGAN!!!
PENGEN BELI GOLDEEENNNNN!!
AAAAARRRRGGGGGG …
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG …
MAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO …
PENGEN BELI MAC LEOPARD!!
MAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAALLLLLLL ….
PENGEN BELI IPHONE …
PENGEN BELI YANG LAEN2…
PENGEN BELI IPOD TOUCH SCREEN
PENGEN NOKIA N81…
HAHAHAHHAHAA… UDAH KUAR DI INDO!!
AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGG …
PENGEN SEMUAAAAAAAAAAA
23.11.07
how am i gonna write this?????
if you read ma previous post, gw udah lebi dr ratusan kali dengerin ini lagu (gw mpe sms cyrus di pagi cuman buat ngase tao kl ada lagu barunye, hahahahaha ya jelasssssssssssssss kita penggemar beratnye meskipun awal2 thn 2000 gw males bgt). gue repeat terus mpe gak jelas juga deh gue.
BUAT ORG YG NGAKU TEMEN GW EN SOK TAU TTG GW PDHAL ELO TUH GAK ADA TAEK2NYA TAU TTG GW SAMA SKALE!!! TAUK DIRI DIKIT MANNNNNN!! ELO TUH SAPAAAAAAAAA? NGACA DULU!!!
kejadian 2 ari kemaren mang dah kaga enak bgt, sumpeh!! gw jg dah gak tao dah mesti describe gemane en ga mongken jg gw tulis disini. kl pun gw tulis, org2 jg gak bakalan ngerti yg ada jg makin mojokin posisi gw. ini lah dimana gw paling males crita ke org soal gw yg sering org blg unik dll (cuman org yg punya otak en kesadaran tinggi ajeh terhadap ama yg namanya realitas en dimana elo sbg manusia mesti ngerti yg loe namain rambu2 lalu lintas alias merah di kala elo mesti stop ngebacot di dpn gw en ijo buat elo silakan ngelakuin hak elo buat kuarin apa yg lo mo bilang ke gw), krn kebykkan org itu sok tauuuuuuuu ttg idup gw pdhal mrk itu cuman tau pecelele alias cuman 5% ttg gw. gw paling benci org yg sok tauuu ttg diri gw. sok ngebacot soal ini itu pdahal tuh taek2nya gak tao apa2. mo gaya di dpn gw mendingan gak usa, gw gak bakalan impress. elo mo pamer apa pun di dpn gw, gak akan ngubah image taek2nya elo di dpn gw. ini salah satu alasan gw males ngomong ama org2 tipe yg kek gene, asli udah gak ada tata krama sama skale. kl ude begene, makin elo ngarep gw crita, lebi bae elo bunuh diri ajeh sendiri krn gw ga bakalan crita. itu rule nye! taktik catur loe tuh dah asem abesssssss … udah gw check-mate. ini lah contoh org2 bodoh yang sok aksi di dpn gw, apa hebatnya coba? gw gak tertarik man buat temenan ama org2 model gini biar pun setaek2nya loe pengen temenan ama gw. loe mo beat style gw, silakan kl loe bisa. loe kira cuman elo doang yg isa pamer? LOL … kocak ajeh, hare geneeeeeee masa ajeh ada org2 kek gene. bingung gw en herannya gak pernah kapok2 tuh org2 model gitu. trus ama org2 yg sok tau en sok ngejudge gw entah dr sisi ato angle dr mane gw jg gak ngerti. nyet, kl lo gak ngerti english gak usah sok2an gaya n baca blog gw. tulisan gitu gede maseh kaga ngarti juga? hebat!!! gw bingung slama ini elo ngapain ajeh pas pelajaran english di skola. dr sisi mana loe nge judge gw dr blog gw? tauk ttg gw jg kaga. NGACA DULU, NYET, SEBELOM LOE SOK NYINDIR2 GUE. ELO TUH SAPAAAA? JD ORG JGN SOK TAU!!! URUSAN PRIBADI GW YA URUSAN GW, BUKAN URUSAN ELO N HAK GW JUGA KL GW GAK MO NGASE TAO ELO. males bgt deh ngomong ama elo!!! tauk diriiiiiiiiiiiiii … tau diriiiiiiiiii dikit …
btw, back to the main topic soal lagu wadsyaname… as i wrote before, dentingan piano (aka AML) yang ada di sepanjang ini lagu, dulu itu lagu seh favorit gw (jaman SMP) en mpe skrg gw mase suka en itu lagu kebangsaan gw. hahahaa… after all, gw jd hepi bener kl di gabungin jd gini, top abes bow ini lagu… top top top … krn dengerin ini lagu kebykkan, gw jd dpt ide en konsep buat beberapa thn ke dpn dgn tune piano itu. ya gak tao deh, maybe 2-3 thn lagi ato pun maybe gak sama skale alias cuman gw yg bakalan tau konsep nye kek gemana n kga bakalan gw geber2 ke org. gw dah ada ide2nya seh … hahahaha… tar deh kl dah mo kejadian, gw bakalan casting org2 yg isa maen piano buat maenin ini lagu pas di acara yg mo gw bikin. well, semua org isa maen piano tp nyari yg bener2 pas maennya itu susah (dr segi2 tertentu). keknya gw jg bakalan tambahin 1 konsep lage buat maenin lagu wadsyaname ini. hahahahahaa… by that time, maybe ini bakalan jd yg spektakuler (ya ngarep seh…). after party, joooooooooooo ….. excited? iya juga seh!! hahahaha… rasanya ga sabar, tp gw cuman gak sabar ama konsep yg gw bikin bener2 jadi gitu. i wonder how it would look like. gw kl dengerin lagu wadsyaname gw jd ngakak sendiri, yoi inget lah jaman gw SMP, pas dah malem gelep2 di kamar, gw ngambil majalah yg gw pinjem, trus gw salin lirik itu lagu en not gitarnya AML pake senter sbg lampu supaya gw nulis en gw nyalinnya di kertas tanggalan lagi (mpe skrg mase ada). so more or less, gw dah suka ama lagu AML dah 10 thnan lebi kale yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…. lucunya pas gw dah SMA, gw sempet kaget … selama idup gw, cuman ada 1 org yg gape maenin ini lagu. gw dulu juga kaget seh kok ada org yg gape bgt maenin ini lagu (jarang2 deh krn ini lagu agak2 susah di maenin n gw cukup fussy ajeh well krn gw isa liat ajeh pas ato kaga not2nya, timingnya lagunya, dll, as i said before semua org isa maenin ini lagu more or less tp tergantung ada taste pa kaga cara maennya). gw langsung gak isa berpaling dr itu org alias pas dia maenin itu lagu, gw mpe liatin trus mpe kelar. hahahahahaa… ternyataaaaaaaaa … gw baru sadar … yg maenin itu lagu adaaaaaaalaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh … wakakkaakkakakakaaa… skrg seh belom ada coi yang se gape itu maenin itu lagu! hahahahahaa… bahkan fantasia american idol thn2 lalu juga gak gape nyanyiin ini lagu. ancur abesssssssssssssss … mo di nyanyiin versi apa pun ato mo di aransemen ulang ini lagu bakalan ancur krn yg asli lebi ok kecuali elo sejago black lewis kale yeeeeeeeeeeeeee… hhhahahhahaa ….
ah well, at least mood gw dah balik normal lagi krn lagu wadsyaname!! top bow .. hahahahaha… liriknye top lah.. contoh cowok gentlemannnnnnnnnn!! LOL … meskipun agak2 vulgar!! LOL jarang2 neh gw mpe ngase resensi lagunya. well, brarti ini lagu enak lah nurut gw, tp gw kaga tao slera org laen. aaaarrrgggggg… jgn2 dah seribuan kali gw dengerin ini lagu kl gak nyadar… gilaaaaaaa … gw berkali2 coba ngebayangin ini lagu bakalan kek gimana bunyinya kl gak pake instrumental dentingan piano dr lagu AML. tp keknya susah bgt ngebayanginnya, kek tuh lagu bakalan jadi gersang yg isinya cuman beat2 yg datar termasuk rap nye kl tanpa pake piano tune. baru minggu2 maren gw ngoceh2 napa org2 gak ada yg bikin lagu enak thn ini, eh ternyataaaaaaaaaa … panjang umur dah!!! album bakalan kuar bulan depan!! hahahaha i so cant wait!! yummie!!
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO GONNA BE MA FAVOURITE SOOOONNNNNGGG IN
NOVEMBER 2007!! HAHAHAHAA…, I CANT BELIEVE NELLY ADDED THE PIANO TUNE ON THAT SONG … THAT PIANO TUNE IS MY FAVOURITE SONG!! OH GOD, TWO OF MA FAV SONGS MIXED TOGETHER!!! HAHAHAHAHAA… HANDAAAAALLLLLL JOOOOOOO!!! I FREAKIN LOVE THIS SONG!! PLEASE KILL ME FOR THIS SONG!!!
NELLY - WADSYANAME
Let’s Go!
[Chorus]
Hey Shawty, Shawty, Shawty
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
I Said now, shawty, shawty, shawty
Whats ya sign (Hey)
Hey Whats ya sign (Hey)
Hey Whats ya sign (Hey)
I Said now, shawty, shawty, shawty
Where ya man (man)
Hey where ya man (man)
Hey where ya man (man)
I said now shawty shawty
Go n do ya dance (do ya dance)
Go do your dance (do that dance)
Go do your dance (do that dance)
Shawty
[Verse 1]
Sad to say I’m only in town for the night (ya see)
I got like 8 hours left before my flight (look herre)
Heyo I’m trying to stay respectful and polite (ya dig)
Now you can tell me go to hell, if ya like
Now I ain’t one of them niggas that wanna trip
Get mad cause you aint interested, he yellin fuck you bitch
Now don’t get it twisted, yeah I’ma look when you pass
But I aint the one to pull on your arm or grab your ass
You see its the swagger, It wont allow me lookin thirst
Now I aint attacking unless I get a signal first
And I aint the one thats gon be playin and do the do
Before its over you gon say (shit I should pay you)
Please believe it
[Chorus]
Hey Shawty, Shawty, Shawty
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
I Said now, shawty, shawty, shawty
Whats ya sign (Hey)
Hey Whats ya sign (Hey)
Hey Whats ya sign (Hey)
I Said now, shawty, shawty, shawty
Where ya man (man)
Hey where ya man (man)
Hey where ya man (man)
I said now shawty shawty
Go n do ya dance (do ya dance)
Go do your dance (do that dance)
Go do your dance (do that dance)
Shawty
[Verse 2]
I like to see ya independent wit ya job
I like ya got ya own house and ya own car
But ya say you gotta lame ass nigga in your life
And he cant get the mental and physical part right
You playin wit ya toys but ya toys dont bite
See they dont talk shit and they dont hit it how you like
See I just want the first right of refusal, when you catch mood
Just call and I come through and sock it to you, promise you booboo
He said he got the magic stick, well ma my shit is like voodoo
That there stay harder than a rodeo you can ride like Isuzu
But all you need is your leather boots, we riding in birthday suits
My time is movin fast, so thats why I ask ya
[Chorus]
Hey Shawty, Shawty, Shawty
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
I Said now, shawty, shawty, shawty
Whats ya sign (Hey)
Hey Whats ya sign (Hey)
Hey Whats ya sign (Hey)
I Said now, shawty, shawty, shawty
Where ya man (man)
Hey where ya man (man)
Hey where ya man (man)
I said now shawty shawty
Gone n do ya dance (do ya dance)
Go do your dance (do that dance)
Go do your dance (do that dance)
Shawty
[Bridge]
Whats ya name girl (eh eh)
I said now shawty whats ya sign (eh eh)
Now tell me where ya man at (hey girl)
Where he at (hey Girl) where he at (hey girl)
I said now whats ya name girl (shinay)
I said now shawty whats ya sign (pisces)
Tell me where ya man at (who carres)
Where he at (who carres) where he at (who carres)
Hey
[Chorus - 2X]
Hey Shawty, Shawty, Shawty
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
Whats ya name is (whats ya name)
I Said now, shawty, shawty, shawty
Whats ya sign (Hey)
Hey Whats ya sign (Hey)
Hey Whats ya sign (Hey)
I Said now, shawty, shawty, shawty
Where ya man (man)
Hey where ya man (man)
Hey where ya man (man)
I said now shawty shawty
Go n do ya dance (do ya dance)
Go do your dance (do that dance)
Go do your dance (do that dance)
Shawty
who’s gonna believe what happened in the middle of the last nite?
i saw it … i saw it … i saw it …
by now its already twice …
i was like OH MY GOD!
why would i pass thru this kind of thing again?
i was just sitting in the corner
had a thought what i supposed to do …
i just wanted to scream which i did …
oh yeah, please hit me with the car …
load the gun and shoot me …
i am just gonna stand still there …
at the end … i am still here, in front of my computer, writing this …
i am sure i might experience this kind of thing for the next few years …
whats wrong the human’s ego …
why is it? why is it just because for what you called as an ego
people act so insane?
and why would i be the one who experience it most of the time?
was i born in the wrong place?
well, i guess god must have spent a lil time on me!
thanks for that.
dear lord,
would it be always like that for the rest of my life?
would i die with a smile in my face?
would the coffin happens to be white always?
would you cry?
would you cry til you get headache and your heart tears into pieces?
would you kill yourself?
i dont wanna die alone
please save me one more timeeeeee … please save me from this place …
please take me away … part of me wants to die … part of me wants to runaway …
please let me runaway … but i dont know where to go …
please send a superman to save me … i wanna run n hide to kryptonite …
HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE … S.O.S!
Part of me won’t go away
Everyday reminded how much I hate it
Can’t live without it so it’s senseless
Wanna cut it out of my soul
And just live with a gaping hole
Take control of my life
And wash out all the burnt taste
I made the problems in the first place
Hang my head low ‘cause it’s part of me
Ya hardly see right next to the heart of me
Heard of me the routine scar
New cuts cover where the old ones are
And now I’m sick of this
I can’t stand the sandpaper thoughts that grade on my sanity
Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me
Freedom can be frightening if you’ve never felt it
Once it’s been dealt with you feel like you’ve been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problem’s all gone
And then you start to see another piece of yourself that you can’t let be
Memories of the last fight to free yourself
Take it to the depths of the bottom of the well
And now you know you can choose to lose the part in your heart
Where your insides bruised
Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams away silently
dear lord,
I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress
handfull of anger, held in my chest
And everything left’s a waste of time
I hate my rhymes, but hate everyone else’s more
I’m riding on the back of this pressure
Guessing that it’s better I can’t keep myself together
Because all of this stress gave me something to write on
The pain gave me something I could set my sights on
Never forget the blood sweat and tears
The uphill struggle over years the fear and
Trash talking and the people it was to
And the people that started it just like you …
I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
dear lord,
I’m not much a poet, but a criminal
And you never had a chance
Love it, or leave it, you can’t understand
A pretty face, but you do so carry on,
and on,
I wouldn’t front the scene if you paid me
I’m just the way that the doctor made me, on,
and on,
Love is the red the rose on your coffin door
What’s life like, bleeding on the floor,
You’ll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
Give me a reason to believe
Preach all you want but who’s gonna save me?
I keep a gun on the book you gave me, hallelujah, lock and load
Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent son
It ain’t the mark or the scar that makes you one,
and one,
I cannot take this anymore
Saying everything I’ve said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you’ll say
You’ll find that out anyway
Just like before…
amen…
i think im gonna write a sort of controversial issue among people. it started a few months ago, a bunch of people had debated this issue with pros and cons. as much as i wanted to shut up myself aka no comment but after all i was the last one who gave sort of a brighter comment (well, thats what i thought hahahahahhaa) and made people shutted up. honestly, i was really disagreed with all those people comments.
it started with a so called friend aka OJ. shes around ma ages most probably (around 25ish or 26-27) who has a cool job, high salary, high educated, smart and blah blah blah. but she only has a problem, she is not able to find a decent guy which she meant by a decent was a man who would respect her parents and committed but its not like when youre dating for a year or so, you would just right away to tie the knot plus why she cannot find a decent guy at all.
it was the simple thing that she mentioned but i guess around 20 people on this debate thingy (well thats how i called it) with all thru the controversy and the dramas, people have been mistaken her opinion so all those people were starting to argue and argue until she pissed off. honestly, i dont know why those people were so offensive and not able to understand her simple wish: A DECENT GUY WHO RESPECTS HER PARENTS.
alright … thats it. from most probably i was the only person who disagreed with all the opinion that people gave that time. i would say that i was strongly disagreed! hahahahaha… for the last time after people started to shut up, i was just saying, "well, i know what she meant tho coz i was kinda like herself too (minus of job n high salary). i meant in a way that what ya called, "a decent man who respects your parents". there many decent men out there but most probably we havent got that chance to meet em or well i dont know the circumstances (oh yeah, whatever). unfortunately, those decent guys that i knew all of my life until today was a shiet, if ya know what i meant. for example:
1. a guy who is decent, nice, fun to be with BUT he got shiet mouth (who would say dirty or rude words to you). well, whats gonna happen if you force yourself to get into the relationship. will he respect your or your parents as well later?
2. a guy who is decent, nice, fun to be with BUT he got all those words from the zoo (well, ya know what i meant).
3. a guy who is decent, nice, fun to be with BUT when he comes to your house to pick you up, he doesnt say hello to your parents or just at least wind down the window from his car and say hi to your mom, etc or if he wants just comes out from the car just to say hi. well, thats what i called NO RESPECT at all.
4. a guy who is decent, nice, fun to be with BUT on the first day he would grab or touch you here and there with his hand.
5. a guy who is decent, nice, fun to be with BUT all he wants just sex
6. a guy who is decent, nice, fun to be with BUT all he wants just your money
and blah blah blah …
so what now? its not like im gonna find the good perfect one because myself isnt perfect either. but somehow maybe what OJ meant was just a decent guy who has a respect to elderly people including herself without any other labels on it. but as for myself, i wouldnt choose any of those 7 guys above and i bet you would do the same thing too".
so then after i said it, some people who were disagreed before was kinda see the point of view of OJ. so they started to give a feedback of what i said before and most of em were responding to the 1st and 2nd plus the 3rd example. so, its not like there no more decent guys, its just you havent had a chance to meet em yet. so yeah, i was kinda wanna punch people (not people on the debate but outsiders) on the face who has a kiddie brain and always think that themselves know about everything about other people while in the fact they know nothing at all aka lousy people. before they think some stupid things why some people would prefer to be single, they gotta think why themselves are also single thats because nobody wants those fcuking idiot people to be their partner due to the fact that they got no brain, stupid, idiot, dumb and a dickhead. so, before you comment about other people’s life, you gotta better think about what happens to your life because you have more worse life than people who you comment to because you just envy em that nobody likes you!! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA….. i, myself, i never look down on people (EXCEPT you had a shiet history with me in the past and i hate you til i die and for the rest of my life i would do shiet things to you) who is single or whatsoever even taken, broken hearted and blah blah blah coz ive been there and done that. so, people, you gotta think with your brain in your head not with your knee. some people are not as lucky as you, you dont need to think that youre the greatest in this world about how many guys or girls you can get in a day, month and year. if you consider yourself is a lucky person then do some good things and stop bullying other people. dont act like you know everything and please fcuk off and get a life!
19.11.07
booooooo hooooooooooooooooo … what happened these days? i was tryin to write tho a few days ago but i was too pissed off due to the fact when i was writing it all of sudden my computer was kinda crashed. damnnnnnnn … after i wrote that long? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA? i cant remember what i did in the passed few days. i think on da weekend i went to toni romas. mannnnnnn … those baby ribs were soooo goooooddddd!! hahahahaa… so happy!! then yesterday i went to PIM and i only got a thing to buy plus some useless things. damnnnnn… btw, i just came back from sedap malam and i’m so full! yknow yknow yknow? dont you wanna know? hahahhahahahahahahahahahaa… again today i almost had my heart attack (well, not literally though) ….. never mind! only me n god heaven knows. my gosh!!! why would i bother with such a thing? yeah, despite of it, ma house is still on "renovation" so yeah kinda have to be on site for that though. but its gonna finish in a couple days though and im expecting for ma own study/work room. dammmmmnnnnnnn ….. ive been waiting for it since the last time my room got renovated and had no space for my stuff no more. yay!! soonnnnnnnn … its gonna be sooooo gooooooddddddd!!! what else? ive been busy watching too many dvds. i cant believe it and tomorrow im gonna buy some stacks again! other than that, i mostly forget stacks of english vocabs. hahahahahhaahhaa….. oh my gosh! i was trying to figure out many vocabs but i cant remember all of em!! hahahahahahhahahahahaaa….. fcuk it man!! thank god youre here!! what? thats all mann for today!
